


Day 26

by Everyday_Im_Preaching



Category: Gravity Falls, Welcome to Night Vale
Genre: Alternate Universe, Gift Fic, Road Trips, Universe Alteration
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-04-19
Updated: 2016-04-19
Packaged: 2018-06-03 04:31:24
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,804
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6596752
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Everyday_Im_Preaching/pseuds/Everyday_Im_Preaching
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Day 26: My nephew’s hooked up with a triangle--we have to leave this fucked up town. I’ve tried everything to get this RV running. This RV should be running. We should be running! The longer we stay here, the longer I’m concerned for the kids safety. Hell, Mabel is eying the local, rebel dog pack...or are they plastic bags? Fuck if I know anymore, this town is driving me insane! For all I know, it could be past the point of no return.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Day 26

**Author's Note:**

  * For [booksandanime](https://archiveofourown.org/users/booksandanime/gifts).



> These are diaries entries from Stan when he's in Nightvale, in a world where Bill had never went to Gravity Falls.

_ Day 2 _

The first day we arrived in this town, this supernatural disaster that acts as an excuse of a home for these star-crossed freaks--I thought that we could drive right through it. But after the endless repetition of oddly named roads and even  _ crazier  _ named businesses--I stopped in at a pizza place that the kids and I had seen roughly seven times now. We were all hungry, and after listening to the radio jockey for the only radio station in town, I could use some kind of distraction. This might be my last entry. 

 

_ Day 4 _

 

We still haven’t left this godforsaken place--good news, the kids are making friends with some of the locals. Bad news, one of them is a three-sided, paper thin monster with a single eye. His voice is full of static, and  _ dammit  _ he floats in the air like some kind of genie. Also, the RV is still broken. I tried to take it to an auto mechanic in town, but apparently they don’t know how to work on it. Something about not enough rocks? 

Cecil, that’s his name. The radio DJ. Even though he’s not really a DJ, since he talks more about his crush on the fake scientist that hangs out on his side of town. Once in awhile he talks about town news, but it ain’t really news. It’s more like hearsay. Like he walked around town and spied on people’s conversations, only to piece them together in a ragtag quilt of rumors. Shit, Dipper’s talking to that damn triangle again.

 

_ Day 7 _

 

I need to bleach my eyes. Or my brain. Maybe both. My nephew was sitting in its lap--if it has a lap. “It” is named Bill if you’re wondering, and he’s straight from children’s nightmares. If it is is a he, like he claims. He was trying to kiss the thing, I mean, I think he was. It looked like he was. I didn’t look for too long, and they jumped apart at the first sight of me. I mean, I know my nephew’s in high school, and I wouldn’t be the least bit bothered if he enjoyed the company of men… but demons? Demons aren’t something that great uncles are specialized to deal with.

Someone saw my pen today and screamed. They then tilted their head up towards the sky and proceeded to scream a little louder--a little longer. It was unsettling, but to each their own, I guess. This town gives me a level of hibigeebies that I haven’t felt since the zombie incident. I really wish Ford hadn’t taken that trip to Alaska, and came with us on this damn trip. Now that’s a guy that can get you out of trouble. 

  
  
  


_ Day 10 _

I’m so tired of pizza. And plastic bags. Or are they dogs? The man on the radio-- _ Cecil  _ his name is fucking  _ Cecil _ \--he says that they’re plastic bags, But what does he know? I haven’t seen him leave that ominous box they call a radio station since I’ve been here. Wish I could get another damn station in this town. 

It’s hard to get any sleep here. There’s always something--whether it’s Dipper staying out too late, the lights in the canyons flashing like a disco ball from my eighth grade prom. Mabel is constantly asking questions I can’t answer about talking rocks and cursed libraries, and it’s really grating on my nerves. And that godforsaken  _ Dog Park.  _ What kind of a dog park doesn’t allow dogs? Or people? It makes my head hurt just thinking about it. The only half-sane person I’ve met in this cracked town is some scientist named Carlos--he’s Cecil’s Carlos. He calls himself a scientist, but I know scientists. My  _ brother  _ is a scientist. This guy is a sham. But we scam artists have to respect each other’s cons, so I didn’t call him out. 

Speaking of cons, I think this town is being tricked by a big one. Always being one to complain about small town government, what is with the mayor of this place? She reminds me of my ex-wife. Hell, she looks like her too. Too bad her name is Pamela, or I would of thought Beatrice retired to this town. It would be just like her to weasel her way into having that kind of political power. She definitely had charisma. 

 

_ Day 13 _

Dipper went on a date today with his...boyfriend? I’m still not convinced that it really has a gender, but if he wants to identify as a guy, then he’s a guy I guess. Well, Dipper went on a date with him to the Dog Park. Which I told him wasn’t safe at all, which also meant I had to drag my sixty-five year old ass through a park full of grim-reaper looking hooded figures. I’m not scared or anything but those guys can sure give me a run for my money. It’s kind of hard to concentrate when the reincarnated version of a broken tv is breathing static into your ear. 

They were cute, in a weird ‘that’s not normal’ way. Like I said, it’s not my really my specialty, dating demons. Or demon dating advice. Or relationship advice in general. I should stop worrying about Dipper, but  _ damnit Bill’s a triangle. A  _ **_triangle._ ** I can’t justify not getting worried about it. This isn’t in the handbook. There was no point in my life when my niece told me that ‘hey--my son might date a demonic triangle in the future, this how to deal with it’. Because no one expects something like that. Well, Ford might. But Ford’s two steps from crazy town in my opinion. 

 

_ Day 17 _

 

Haven’t updated the journal in awhile. Well, four days. Four days is a long time here. Some jerk with the last name Vansten decided he wanted to purchase my RV--and I refused. He insisted and tried to  _ force me  _ to take his money. Like I’m going to sell the only thing that might get us out of here.

Dipper came to me and asked if Bill could come with us when we left. To which I responded “you can’t bring your demonic boyfriend that you’ve only had for two and a half weeks with us”. Plus I didn’t want to explain this entire trip to their mother. She’s very devout, and if you even tried to mention demons, she gets this look in her eyes, like she’s planning to commit murder. 

Mabel’s been real quiet the last couple days. I asked her what was wrong and she stared at me, sad. She mentioned something about wanting to work with the radio DJ--Cecil, Cecil damnit, I should be able to remember that by now. Cecil, the freaky disc jockey who spends hours talking about his boyfriend. Cecil Palmer, figurehead at the NVPR and the face that nobody sees and the voice that everybody hears. I hate him. And I told Mabel that it wasn’t safe for her to work there. Too many people have died working there. 

Speaking of Cecil, the radio Cecil, the Carlos’s boyfriend Cecil. He’s so  _ annoying.  _ But he’s got a good thing going with this not-a-scientist, Carlos. I respect that, and them. They’ve found their place together. I spoke to Carlos again today and asked him how everything was going with his ‘science’. He replied with ‘definitely better than the last time’. Which last time? I can’t remember him doing anything of note the last time I saw him. Maybe my brain’s just finally giving up on me. Old, useless thing.

 

_ Day 19 _

Can we go home yet? Dipper asked me about Bill again, and I said whatever. I mean, can he leave Nightvale? I adjusted the radio today, trying to get something else--anything else--on this thing. More news about horrifying things, like ripping your heart from your chest and cooking it, peeling off your skin. I think I’m going to need therapy. Kids seems alright though. Mabel’s back to her chipper self. I guess after that one intern was vaporized in front of her, she gave up the idea of working at the radio station. We aren’t staying here very much longer anyway. I think I’ve found out what’s wrong with the RV.

Bill actually came up to speak to me today. Just me. Initially, I freaked out. But he greeted me semi-cheerfully without any blood or organs as per usual. He seemed nervous, so I sat him down and he asked me if I was okay with him and Dipper being together. I swallowed my pride and fixed my hat and said that I was, because Dipper and Bill were both adults. Bill seemed almost  _ ecstatic  _ about this, and he left in a buzz of static. God, he freaks me out. This entire town freaks me out. 

 

_ Day 27 _

The RV is almost fixed! Started up like a dream today, but it’s out of gas. Sorry for not writing, my pen got confiscated and I had to knock someone out to get it back. It’s like they’re scared of writing utensils or something. Anyway, we’re leaving as soon as I can find some gas for this baby. Then we can leave this place. Mabel seems excited to escape, see her friends again, but Dipper is almost sad to go. He kind of just stared at his hands when I told him, and then left. I wonder what’s up with the kid?  
I met Steve Carlsburg today, and you’d think he’d be a three headed nightmare creature from the way the radio show host--Cecil, damnit, remember his name! I’m turning into some old fogey. If I keep writing it down, I might remember it. But yeah, this Steve guy really gets some shit slung at him by Cecil, and he really doesn’t deserve it. Real stand up guy, tries his best raising that daughter of his. His wife’s super pretty too. This whole town is full of happy couples, despite the dark overtones. 

_ Day 28 _

 

RV is full of gas, and we’re on the road. Dipper wasn’t happy to go, and he slunk on the RV like an irritated cat. When I asked him where Bill was, and he shrugged. He told me that Bill would always be there, always watching. I think that they’re going through a rough patch-- I told him that I hoped that they stayed in contact, because they made a cute couple, and Dipper blushed. The guy straight up blushed at me and I ignored it. That’s what I was supposed to do, right? Dipper thanked me and made it clear that they weren’t serious yet, but he hoped that they would be in the upcoming months.

Goodnight, Nightvale. Good-fucking-bye. And good riddance. 

**Author's Note:**

> This is a oneshot gift fic for booksandanime for solving a cipher in Chapter Five of my other fic, Nowhere to Go But Down.  
> RadioActivity had way too much fun betaing this >:)
> 
> Want to stay updated? Click [here](http://everyday-im-preaching.tumblr.com/) to stay in the know!


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